manners

There is a security man that I pass almost daily on my school route.  I would say he is in his late 50's although he is a black man and it's true what they say that "blacks don't crack" Black people age so well that I am never very sure of their correct age. Regardless his age, what I wanted to tell you about this man is that when I drive past him he tips his hat to me.

The first time I saw it, I thought he was just adjusting his hat. But then I saw him do it the next day and the next as I drove past.  Is he really tipping his hat at me?  I thought and that made me smile so much.  Nobody does that anymore.  It is the coolest thing to be honoured like that, to be the recipient of such beautiful old fashioned manners.  I didn't know him, I certainly hadn't done anything nice for him, yet there he was showing me respect because I was a woman passing him in the street. 

Now when I pass him, he tips his hat and I smile and wave, we have this little greeting dance down and  I can't help thinking how a little manners makes the world a kinder happier place.

While old school manners like the removing of a hat when a lady passes, or opening the door for a lady may be all but died out, I have been working on manners with my own kids.

There is the old please and thank you which seems to be a daily grind into them to remember. There is the not interrupting but putting their hand on my arm and waiting their turn when I am speaking to an adult.  I am teaching them to open doors for others behind them and to not complain about a meal put in front of them but to thank the cook regardless of whether they like it or not. Marcus and I are trying to teach them to sit still at a a cafe and contribute to conversation, listening to others and waiting their turn while they also wait for their food.

These manners are ones that have been around for years but there are some new ones I am having to teach due to the influence of technology in our home.  One of these is to put the screen down when a person is talking to you and looking them in the eye (this goes for Marcus and I too if we are busy texting and talking to each other, or on the laptop while the other is talking).   If the kids are watching TV or a movie when people arrive at the house, they are to pause it, stand up and greet the person again, looking them in the eye and then waiting for permission from a parent before returning to watching what they were watching. 

It's about getting back to the route of manners which is making the other person feel valued and respected.  People! people! people! I drill in to my brood, are more important than a screen, show that with your actions.