I was a stranger and you invited me in...

Due to the fact that it is now September, can we just pretend that I never said that I was going to get all these posts up in August? Agreed?

To be honest, I have been sitting on this post for a while. But because the author of this segment is kind of my writing hero; knowing I was going to have to write up the introduction has been all kinds of nerve wracking.  And then I had a brain wave.  Since we were both contributors to the NZ Christian Mum's website I had the idea of stealing her bio from that to introduce her to you.  So without further delay let me introduce Anna Vroon:

Anna Vroon grew up in Hamilton but now lives in Auckland with her husband and three young children. Her husband is a Pastor at Bays Baptist Church. She is a stay at home mother who tries to keep life simple. She suffered from ante-natal depression and trauma after birth. She has a heart for those who are weak and suffering and a desire to extend to them the love and grace that God has shown her in the darkest times. She has learned a lot about the freedom of the gospel and the precious intimacy we have with Jesus.

She enjoys writing, reading, baking and ballet. (This picture makes it look as though she is into sporty, outdoors stuff, but you are unlikely to see this image in real life.)

You can find out more about Anna and follow her writings at ‘We Are Women: Learning to Love Jesus Everyday in Everything’

So if you've read any of Anna's work you know she is amazing with words and I feel very honoured to have known her for a large part of my life but only truly got to know her when we were both mums of babies, knee deep in the trenches.  It's because she has always been so real with her struggles that when I heard her family were fostering new born babies I was blown away.  Here was a mum of 3 young kids like me, only just coming out of the fog. And here she was willingly putting back on those boots and returning to the trenches for a baby that wasn't even hers, or going to be hers. I was pretty blown away, humbled and inspired. I hope you are too. In her own words, here is what she wrote on why her family is fostering:

 

Last Sunday my youngest child turned four.  He is getting tall, although still a skinny little thing.  His fine, straight hair has reddish glints to it.  He has a temper to match is hair, and blue eyes that will melt your heart. 

He is our last child.  And around his birthday my arms ache for another baby.  Grief swells up inside me until I can hardly contain my longing for another child.  Mostly it is just a normal sized desire for a baby, but around his birthday it consumes me.   

This year I didn’t notice the ache though.  My arms were not empty.  They were full of a beautiful, bouncing 5 month old baby with eyelashes to die for and a smile that lights up the room.  One of these days she will go, and my arms will be filled with another baby to love.  There is so much need for love, and in some way giving it heals my own ache. 

We had always wanted to be foster parents.  I cannot remember a time when I did not have a desire to take a needy child into my home and provide care and comfort.  I was blessed to marry a man who also shares this vision.  Had my own pregnancies not been so filled with sickness and suffering I may have just kept pumping out my own.  I love being a mother.  But my road to motherhood robbed me of health, happiness and mental stability, and so after our third child we closed the door to any more of our own.  I knew as soon as my children were older, and my health and sanity returned, we would pursue foster care. 

We decided to put our hands up for short term, or transitional, care because I wanted a baby and children are always placed in short term care before they are placed with a family permanently.  Often by the time they get to permanent care they are 12 months or older, and my heart ached to be at the front line, so to speak.  I wanted a baby in my arms. 

And earlier this year, shortly after we had moved into our new house and were approved and ready to go, we got a call.  A baby was going to be born.  Would we take it? 

Would we take it? 

And that is how, the next evening, I spent the night in a hospital ward with a tiny, beautiful wee girl sleeping next to me.  She snuggled in my arms, and I talked to her, and prayed for her and for her parents.  It was wonderful, heartbreaking, precious – and a privilege. 

A few nights later, it no longer felt like a privilege.  It was a burden so heavy I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it.  Why am I doing this? I asked myself in the sleepless hours, pacing back and forth.  She isn’t ours, it isn’t a lifetime investment like it is with our own.  We could give her away to someone else.

The darkness whispered dark lies, half truths, temptation to give in and walk away, to give up when it cost too much.  What we were doing was lonely and heartbreaking – but essential.  Someone has to suffer for her, instead of her, to absorb the mess of this situation.  And it is us. 

I opened my Bible among the breakfast mess at the kitchen table and this is what I read. 

‘Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.’

Mark 9:37

There it was.  It reminded me why we were doing this, it spoke truth and light and banished the 3am darkness. 

And this is why we have a foster baby.  Because we care, because it is one small and practical way to show the gospel, to help the hurting, to care for the small, the weak, and the defenceless.  To absorb suffering.  People often ask how we can do it, they say they could never do it because it would be too hard to give the child back.  I never really understood this objection.  Of course it is hard, it might break my heart.  But I would rather suffer that loss, than do nothing.  If I can give a child love and security by suffering heartache and loss, then I’ll do it.  Why?  Because God has done it for me.      

We love because he first loved us.

1 John 4:19