Two Year Old For Sale

He's a spunk, doesn't have that many words yet but has developed a LOUD pitched scream to get his point across, that is when he isn't in constant whine mode.  There might be a button to turn this whine off but I haven't found it yet.  

He is very loyal and will follow you everywhere, shower, toilet, outside, inside, upstairs, downstairs, he'll be right at your feet or clinging to one of your legs wiping snot on your clean pants as he does. 

He can feed himself, snacking all day like a cat with what he can get his hands on.  The pantry, fridge, fruit bowl- all his personal stash and he'll take a bite out of every apple in the fruit bowl so as there is no confusion over whose they are.  He'll also self medicate, helping himself to his sister's bottle of antibiotics in the fridge because hey, it's cherry flavoured and doesn't have a kid safe lid and Mum has hid the lollies.

He's smart though, knowing that extra swig of antibiotics would come in handy later as he dunked his gingernut biscuits in the toilet because Mum had removed the hot cup of tea from his reach. 

(true story).

He currently is sick with whooping cough and a cold so coughs all night, each time waking himself up and screaming so that you'll need to sleep next to him every night to save yourself constant trips to his bedroom. And while lying next to him, he likes to hold your head in a gridlock face next to his face so that there is no way of sneaking out back to your own bed. It means that when he coughs, it is right in your face, over and over, all night long.

Your house will be clean but only if you keep your eyes focused on the top half of your house that is out of his reach. I'm talking ceiling here.  Anything lower is covered in his fingerprints or handiwork.  He especially likes to run his hands along windows and walls right after eating a chocolate biscuit. I have no doubt you will love this trait as I do. 

Disclaimer- 

He is not really for sale, maybe just on loan until he is 4.  I'm just writing this to make me laugh because if I don't I'll cry. I'm single parenting it at the moment while Marcus is overseas. He is gone two weeks which involves two weekends and a public holiday. That is a lot of in your face time with all three kids for this introvert mama. And it has rained non stop for three days solid, so add cabin fever to the list of sickness this home is housing. The older two kids have been great but the two year old, the two year old. Boy oh boy. 

The stress must be showing because my parents are coming around later to help. I  Guess these pearl earrings aren't fooling anybody when my hair looks like I've been pulled through a hedge backwards and my clothes are covered in snot and fingerprints. I broke my jandle and the underwire for my bra is sticking straight up out of my top. I was like, what even is that!

Dad is going to take me out to the movies while Mum babysits. It's a movie on Nelson Mandela which he thought would be good for me to see. Maybe as a nice way to say, "get out of your pity pot Anna, things could be worse." But seriously right now if I don't fall asleep in the movies, I'm going to find it hard not to be jealous. Locked up on my own in a room on an island sounds pretty much like paradise to this introvert.