Last night

Marcus and I just laughed ourselves silly watching a stand up comedian describing life with 4 children. He told the audience to imagine yourself drowning, and then someone handing you a baby. We aren't up to four children but I laughed a nervous kind of laugh because my dear blog, I am up to the drowning bit. (all be it, drowning with a smile because despite it all, I do see the funny side of this crazy season of life.)

Marcus takes this pill at night because nights have been rough on him these last four months and the pill basically knocks him out allowing him to have a deep nights sleep.  Now I'm not angry at him for taking these pills, It's not his fault but I can't help it. I'm so jealous and every morning I struggle to be gracious because I covet his good nights sleep.

Let me run you through last night.

9pm Marcus heads to bed. He is sound asleep within 10 minutes and not even a bomb going off in the bedroom would wake him now.  I stay up waiting for Nathan to stir for his final feed for the night. I make the lunches for tomorrow, unstack the dishwasher, put on a load of laundry, clean up the lounge, check out facebook then hear Nathan waking.

10.30pm- Breastfeed Nathan in the dark so he doesn't probably wake, do a quick nappy change, place him back in his cot then get into bed myself.

11.00pm this is about when I finally fall asleep after lying there re running conversations in my head, going over to do lists and then finally, I whisper up a prayer of thankfulness, pull the covers up, Relax, my body my own for the first time that day. I take a deep breath and let sleep take me..

11.40pm I awake with a start to the sound of Lucy calling out for me. I jump up in a daze run to their room to find her in a panic as she's all wrapped up in her blankets like a fly in a spider web and can't move. I strip her bed and remake it with her in it, making sure to tuck the sides in tight this time. She is already back to sleep and thankfully Oliver on the top bunk hadn't woken with the disturbance so I sneak out and climb back into bed. Aware of the time, I am asleep pretty quickly. 


2.03am Until I hear a noise. Creek, patter patter patter.
This particular noise is all too familiar to me.  Uncharacteristically I had shut our bedroom door which I usually leave open for moments like this.  Oliver is expecting it to be open so in the dark, walks straight bang into it.  He has no concept about been quiet while others are sleeping and so starts crying and yelling about hurting himself in his big loud voice. I jump out of bed terrified he is going to wake Nathan in the next room so usher him into the bathroom. He starts listing off his demands, the need to go toilet, wants a drink of water and a toy to take back to bed. I agree to all, He knows at this point I will do anything to get him back to bed quietly without anyone else waking.  As I tuck him back into his bunk conscious of Lucy asleep below him he proceeds to tell me something completely random in his loud Oliver voice about how planes "go bump bump bump on our way to Queenstown."
"yes yes yes," I whisper "tell me in the morning. Good night." shut the door back to bed.

5am Creek, patter, patter, patter. Oliver comes over to my side of the bed after feeling Marcus' face and realising that I had tried to do the sneaky on him by switching sides. "Mum, I can't find my pirate eye patch" He says in what can only be described as a whispered shout. I open one eye, look at the alarm clock, note the time then note Oliver standing before me in full pirate dress up. "It's not morning time yet Oliver" I mumble. "You have to go back to bed until Monkey wakes up. It's still night time."
He starts whining about not wanting to go back to bed to which I realise will wake everyone if I let the whining continuing. I scoop him up, pirate dress up and all and flip him into bed beside me. "Go back to sleep Oliver until morning."

He is quiet at least but doesn't go back to sleep. Merely kicks and wriggles and huffs and puffs and twirls my hair while I attempt sleep.

6.30am Lucy marches in to our room "Monkey's awake mum. Can you make me a milo and turn cartoons on please?" 

Oliver has already leaped out of bed, joined Lucy in the lounge and they are waiting for me to rise and begin waiting on them hand and foot with a milo, biscuit, toast. All rituals we began so innocently when they were young and are now slaves to.  Their morning greetings have also woken Nate. I steal a few more minutes before the cries get to me.

6.45am I am up, breastfeeding Nathan, the toast is cooking, the kids are watching cartoons. The day has begun. My mind starts processing all the things that need doing in the next hour. Kids dressed, breakfast eaten, me showered, dressed and hair done, bags packed...

8am- As I'm rushing the kids out the door for the school run, Marcus emerges from the bedroom and he says it, the one phrase I knew he would say but was willing him not to..."Man, I'm so tired."


Like I said. You have to laugh in the drowning.