Random Lists

This Weekend is our first open home and I am in full list writing mode. Lists of things to paint, to clean, to store, to tidy, to hide away, to finish. I love writing but lists seem to be the extent of my writing at the moment so going with that theme here's a list of randoms thoughts;

1. I need to be thankful for my children. To actively see them as the huge blessing they are rather than a hindrance. The other day at Pak n Save, I had 2 trolleys and 3 children with me. It was pretty hideous and at the checkout there was an old lady who was waiting patiently behind my huge shop to load her 14 items
"I'm sorry for the wait." I said." I can't wait for the day where I'm shopping for one." 
She looked at me and gave me a sad smile. "Don't wish for that." she said.
Of course she is right, why would I ever wish for that? Why would I let my children hear me wish for that? I felt terrible. But obviously not terrible enough because the next morning I said to Marcus.
"I wish I were deaf. I think parenting 3 kids wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to listen to them from sun up to sun down." Lucy heard me and asked why I didn't like listening to her. Again I felt selfish and terrible. Having children, Having 3 children was a choice I made and amidst the chaos I do love it. I know 20 years from now I will miss the chaos and only remember the good times. I hope my children do too and not remember the times their mother complained about them.

2. A side effect of one of the drugs Marcus is on is increased appetite. He is hungry all the time but aware of this and not wanting to gain weight,  every time he feels like a snack in between meals, he makes himself a cup of tea instead. When he boils the kettle he always offers me one too. Today he asked if I wanted a cup of tea a total of 9 times. Felt like I was on father ted. "More tea vicar?"Not that I'm complaining. You make me a tea and I will drink it.

3. I have the most amazing in laws. My mother in law in particular never fails to have dinner prepared and in the oven when we return from holiday. She knows that we would all be eating fish and chips that night if she didn't. This time there were 2 tins of fresh baking awaiting us too. She is amazing, I have big shoes to fill when I am a mother in law.

4. The kids start swimming lessons this week. It'll be Oliver's first time. It is going to be gorgeous. Oliver in goggles. I'm giggling already.

5. I am such an introvert. Put me in an environment where I need to be social for more than a few hours and I am exhausted. I have this huge desire to find a quiet place to hide away on my own and regroup or I get teary. It happened on a girls weekend away just recently. I was so looking forward to it, a weekend without children and about 5 hours into it, surrounded by 10 amazing ladies, I felt the need to retreat. Lucky for me I had the excuse that I needed to express milk (It was my first time leaving Nathan and I'm still breastfeeding him 4 times a day.) Half and hour here and there was all I needed and I was recharged but it was a new realisation to me. I knew I was an introvert, but I didn't realise how much. It was weird.

6. That weekend was the start of Nathan weening himself. Since my return he hasn't been that keen to feed off me. Been my last baby I thought I'd morn this day and cling to it, perhaps even being one of these mamas that is still breastfeeding their 5 year old. But holding him and feeding him formula from a bottle tonight, was just as lovely as my night time feeds with him. I didn't feel the loss I thought I would. To top it off when he finished the bottle he let out this huge 'argh' sound as if he had just downed a refreshing can of coke. For the record he never sounded that satisfied after a feed from me.