Dear Oliver, Age 4

Dear Oliver,
You have grown so much this last year.  I look at the little hairs on your legs now that weren't there when you were 2 and I realise that you are a little man child, not a baby, or a toddler but a boy well on his way to becoming a man. This day 4 years ago,  I was at the hospital texting your Dad as he returned home from Africa that we had a son.

Your love language is touch. You always ask me for a kiss and a cuddle, not just on kindy drop off, or saying goodnight, but pretty much whenever you see me. Sometimes, you stop mid sentence and ask me for one like it just occurred to you. Whenever my face hovers close to yours, when I am brushing your teeth or getting you dressed or wiping breakfast from your chin, you smack a kiss on my lips and then ask for a butterfly kiss to go with it. You tell me you love me all the time, unprompted and it makes my heart melt.

This morning I was grumpy as we left  the house late,  dishes in the sink, washing not hung out, beds not made. The truth was  I was cross at my self for lingering that extra 20 minutes in bed but I was taking it out on you and Lucy, Nathan too if he understood. You listened to me rant, then very softly said "Mama, I'm sorry. I love you." 

But when you are not making my heart melt, you can drive me crazy. Before Christmas you actually caused me to google "WHAT HAPPENS TO BOYS AT 3 AND A HALF?" Because your behaviour and moods and tantrums and sulking made me believe that there must be something seriously wrong with you and I needed to know if it was just you or if this was common the world over with all 3 and a half year old boys.

You are LOUD like I have never experienced LOUD before. You wake lots in the night and are always the first to rise, although this month you have been very good at not coming upstairs but have played quietly in your room until you hear I am up.

You love dressing up, and sports and cars and all things boyish. You wriggle, and dive and jump and run and dawdle and talk and talk. Your favourite expression at the moment is "even you know..." Which is your way of saying "did you know..." We hear it from sun up to sun down, "even you know..."

 It is good you have your own room now to retreat to because although you can get mad, it doesn't last long. You run to your room, slam your door, yell something about us not being "your best friend any more" and that "we can't come to your birthday party" then discover one of your toys on your floor, or one of your books and a minute later exit your room, smile on your face, with whatever had got you so worked up seconds earlier, completely forgotten. This is a boy trait that I think I am going to like. You don't hold grudges and there isn't anything we have come across yet that hasn't been able to be fixed with either a plaster or a butterfly kiss.

Unlike your sister,  who craves it, you don't like alone time and this has proved a better punishment for you than smacking ever was.  You hate time out.

On the edge of turning 4  you are speaking a tonne. There are many words you are not pronouncing correctly yet, but we know what you mean. I heard you practicing the word 'speeding' this morning sounding it out and getting your lips right. "ssssssssssppppppppppppppeeding."You can count aloud to 14 but can't recognise numbers or  letters yet. We have all year to work on that and I'm not going to rush it.


You love camping and anything outdoors. You get bored very quickly at being inside. You often have 3 breakfasts like a hobbit. Porridge, followed by fruit, followed by toast. You are pretty fearless, which amazes us, you have no fear of heights or of hurting yourself. You do squeal pretty high pitch though if you see a spider or a praying mantas which is stink for me because you used to be my master cockroach catcher- now I have to catch them myself.

You LOVED your skiing trip with Dad last winter and keep asking if it is a skiing day again yet. You have your ski goggles all ready for action. Your fearlessness held you in good stead as you learnt to ski. Hopefully the same will be with Rugby which you will start this winter.

Oh middle child, you have a special place in my heart. You look a mirror image of your Dad but I see so much of me in you as well. You need to know that you can't ever loose me. That panic I hear in your voice if I am out of sight, or I've left you in the car while I dash into the post office, or you stop in a crowd and scream out my name. I am always right there and I won't loose you my brave Cowboy/Superman/Spider man/Pirate.

Happy Birthday Oliver Carey Smith. I love you too!

P.s. You did a super job on making your pinata for your birthday. What a good paper mache artist you turned out to be. *The MAN Apron is a handmade gift from his talented Auntie Sarah.